Want to Try Kinky Sex? Do These 5 Things First
Kinky sex, also known as BDSM (bondage, discipline/dominance, sadism/submission & masochism), is now more mainstream than ever. but if you’re curious about bringing kink into your bedroom, being overwhelmed at first is understandable. There’s a lot of information out there to take in, and BDSM by definition is as intriguing as it is intimidating to a first-timer.
If you’re curious about kink and BDSM, this blog can help get you started on a fun, super sexy and not-too-intimidating path to spicing up your sex life and deepening your pleasure, as well as your connection with your partner(s). Before diving right in to kinky sex play, check off the following five steps to make your experience even more enjoyable:
- Identify what’s already kinky about your sex life. Who, me? you might say. I’m as vanilla as a can of whipped cream. Possibly, but have you ever licked some whipped cream off a blindfolded lover? Experimented with handcuffs? A lot of what you already do in the bedroom might fall under the umbrella of kink, so take inventory of anything you do that involves consensual role-play, power exchanges, taboos, etc. Realizing you’ve already done some kinky things will make the rest of your experience less intimidating.
- Do some research. (Starting with this blog, of course.) BDSM is obviously not all about studying, but it can often involve heavy emotions, risky physical scenarios and complicated knots. In order for your kinky explorations to be safe, sane and consensual (and not to mention hot as hell) you need to familiarize yourself with what you’re interested in and how to do it safely. Good books to start with are SM 101 by Jay Wiseman and Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Molly Devon and Philip Miller. Ask your local sex shop (if available) about whether they host classes and workshops.
- Talk with your partner(s). You might be thinking. When are we going to get to the good part? (We know, we know.) But trust us: the more you talk to your partner about your kinky fantasies, the better it’ll be when you bring those fantasies to life. For example, if your fantasy is to be handcuffed, your partner should know what you want to happen, what you DON’T want to happen, and what your safeword is if you want to stop. That’s just scratching the surface of the depth of communication you might require to make a kinky fantasy come to life, so take your time.
- Explore the world of toys. Let’s be clear, you don’t need much fancy equipment to have kinky sex. In the case of something like roleplay, all you need is a strong imagination. But other kinky activities will need some toys and gear made for that specific purpose. Figure out what you’ll need, then buy high quality sex toys that suit your taste. Also, it never hurts just to browse for kinky toys, since you might find something that sparks your imagination.
- Make time. When you’re ready to try your kinky fantasy out for the first time, the last thing you want is to be worrying about getting somewhere on time. Find a few hours when you know you won’t be interrupted. Make the environment as sensually pleasing as possible, in whatever way that means to you. Kink is all about experiencing the deep pleasure of setting your fantasies free in a safe, consensual way, so savor the moment, communicate with your partner(s) and take your time exploring the kinky things that turn you on the most.
Feeling ready to explore your kinky side? We hope you enjoy every moment of learning about your own kinky fantasies and finding ways to bring them to life. Don’t forget to explore our own selection of quality kinky sex toys to get your imagination going and set your kinky fantasies free.