Curling toes. Clutched sheets. An ecstatic “Oh my god” — it’s the image we see in countless romantic dramas and read in plenty of steamy books, but how often does it pan out in real life?
If your orgasms are a little underwhelming, you’re not alone. 69% of women have an orgasm during sex at all — as compared to 90% of men. And if the sheer number of books and magazines about how to improve your love life with spicy sex positions are any indication, most women are in pursuit of a better, stronger “O.”
But if you do your research, you’ll find that intensifying your orgasms has much more to do with your lifestyle than it does your sex position du jour. The best ways to take your orgasms through the roof are surprisingly simple, and you can start doing each of them today.
1. Get Hooked on a Natural “Love Drug”
“Better living through chemistry,” it turns out, applies to sex — no synthetics required. In a scientific study, participants were given doses of the hormone oxytocin — and, as a result, consistently reported an increased intensity of their orgasms
So, where do you get this wonder drug? The human body naturally produces oxytocin through relaxing, pleasurable activities, including things like taking a bath or enjoying gentle, intimate touch with your partner. Up your oxytocin levels by making time for soothing self care every day. If your date night involves a lot of cuddling, so much the better.
By now, you’ve probably read dozens of articles advising you to do Kegels for stronger orgasms. But in case you’ve been putting them off, we’re here to remind you one more time.
Emily Morse of Glamour calls this simple exercise the “holy grail” of orgasm intensifiers, since it strengthens the pelvic floor muscles. These are the muscles that contract when you orgasm, and the stronger they are, the more intense your orgasms will be.
Kegels are incredibly easy — in fact, you’ve been doing them your entire life without noticing them. Start by squeezing your pelvic muscles as though you’re holding back urine. Simple enough, right? Continue to squeeze for ten seconds, then fully relax for ten seconds, and repeat the set five more times. Eventually, you’ll build up to doing multiple sets a day.
One of our favorite things about Kegels is that they can be done at any time, anywhere, and no one will ever notice that you’re doing them. And while they don’t require any fancy equipment, you can can even try out different weighted Kegel trainers, just like you’d add weight to your lifting routine.
3. Learn the Art of the Tease
Delaying orgasm can increase its intensity, according to Women’s Health. While you might be in a rush to get to the big finale, a little patience pays off. Instead of a sprint to the finish line, think of building up to your orgasm as a steady, long-distance jog.
When you approach the “tipping point,” ease back from it, instead of going over the edge. Move to a different type of stimulation until you’ve cooled off a little, then build back up to orgasm. With practice, you’ll be able to do this multiple times, and the payoff will only be even more mind-blowing.
4. Pump Up the Flow
A famous scene in Pumping Iron features Arnold Schwarzenegger bragging that his intensive weightlifting routine makes him feel as though he’s, well, orgasming constantly.
The scene is usually played for a laugh – but it turns out that the bodybuilding champ was on to something. Since regular exercise improves your circulation, one bonus effect is that it also increases blood flow to your genitals, which increases sensitivity to stimulation and intensity of orgasm.
The easiest way to get the blood pumping is, of course, regular exercise. If you haven’t yet found a good reason to stick to your gym routine, consider this your new source of fitness inspiration.
If you can’t make it to the gym, however, there are other ways to improve circulation for more intense orgasms, especially if you’re strapped for time before getting busy. Taking a hot shower or even applying a warm (not too hot) washcloth to your vulva are both quick ways to increase blood flow. Warming lube, too, works wonders.
5. Open Up Your Toybox (or Start One)
We can’t overstate how much a sex toy (or two…or ten…) can amp up your orgasms. The sheer number of sex toy options is too high to cover here (stay tuned for future posts!), but we can tell you one thing: At the very least, bring a quality vibrator to bed with you.
A 2017 study on female orgasms, the largest ever performed, showed that 37% of women require clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. That being said, a vibrator helps increase orgasmic intensity by letting you keep clitoral stimulation steady while you explore other sensations — which, in turn, lets you have much more powerful orgasms.
6. Embrace the Power of Pillow Talk
Exercise, kegels, and toys aside — can you intensify your orgasms without any physical activities? It turns out that you can.
According to a recent Health21 article, communication is key to a more satisfying sex life. By telling your partner what you want in bed, you’ll take away the guesswork, leaving more room to get what you want and explore new ways of enjoying sex.
And a word to the wise: While over half of all women surveyed report When Harry Met Sally-ing at least one orgasm in their lives, the biggest way to cheat yourself out of having powerful orgasms with a partner is to fake them.
Don’t forget the importance of keeping in touch with yourself, either! Since things like stress and poor body image can put a damper on your overall sexual experience, it’s important to stay connected to yourself with mindful check-ins and plenty of self-care activities. (And we should mention that masturbation is definitely a self-care activity, since it relieves stress and helps you explore what you like best in bed.)
Feeling (ahem) inspired to start putting these tips to use? We’d love to help you get started with our collection of toys and other adult goodies. Start browsing our online boutique for even more ways to take your sex life into the stratosphere!